Being part of some stupid spy network without being told I am in one leads me to draw my information from experiences. The circle of stupidity I am caught in at the moment has me being traumatized, especially through my dreams, and then expected to function the next day. I am on disability, which shouldn’t be surprising. No one and I mean, NO ONE, can function with no sleep. I hallucinate, hear things, can’t make simple decisions, can’t follow a conversation, can’t focus long enough to read a paragraph, etc. I’m having a fairly high functioning day, but I am still struggling.
Sleep deprivation brings the challenges listed above, but then to add constant re-traumatization, and I have debilitating PTSD. This is from the mismanagement of rich billionaire fools behind the scenes named Terry and Kerry Young. They are part of BP, British Petroleum. They keep sending me stupid and insane messages through people. I know you think it is from my lack of sleep, and that’s what I thought too, but it has been pounded in my head from outside sources that I am part of some top secret blah blah blah. I don’t know what it is and I don’t care.
So I started thinking about my bizarre work experiences for some insight into how these people operate at the top. I used to be an administrative assistant who helped the division manager’s assistant in Social Services in Anchorage, Alaska. Big oil state. The entire state and local governments work from oil money. They get other revenue, but most of it is trickle down big oil money. Thus, the IdIoTTwins in charge of my life. That explains how an Oklahoma country girl ended up in Alaska.
In the Social Services, SS, like Secret Service. Aren’t they cute with their stupid signs? They nauseate me. But anyway, in there I was part of email strings that were completely moronic. There’s always some known-it-all, who I now realize represents, Terry. He was usually a clown, making stupid word play jokes. But beyond that, the emails were just people pretending they read it and making comments that made no sense in the whole litany of the email string. It would become increasingly stupid and bizarre. I look back and think that maybe this was for the benefit of Terry the Clown, but I don’t think he ever looked at the things after he wrote them. So the atmosphere of stupidity he created by making our work lives into his comedy skit made it impossible to get work done. Everyone was busy trying to impress The Clown and didn’t do the real work that needed to be done. The IdIoTTwins have no idea how anything runs. They just expect it to run. They have no idea how their stupidity makes it impossible to run.
Eventually while I worked there many people who used to know the job retired. Even if they hadn’t planned on retiring, working in such an outlandish and weird environment made them want to go. Much like what we are seeing from Trump being president. He is draining the swamp and replacing it with morons loyal to him, who only specialize in ass kissing. They have no idea how government works. Well, all that was happening in the 2000s where I worked. So the finances got tight. The Municipality decided to get new software for purchasing to streamline the process and make sure no one could waste money on new office furniture and stuff like that. In the meantime, the Mayor, who came up with the idea bought himself an entire suite of solid wood office furniture.
We started using the new software. They had bought the most basic package, so it didn’t work. Later they would have to spend millions more to get the correct software add-ons for a business of our size. They basically bought the small business version where we needed at least medium to large business version. So since nothing was working right in the software, the Health Department, which SS was part of, decided to have a memo that had to be put with a printed out order and signed off on before the order could be placed. It was tedious, but then a paper trail that could be seen was created. Everything was getting lost on the backend of the software and no one knew what was happening to the money.
Our idiot Division Manager was one of the IdIoTTwins loyal people. He was clueless how anything worked. If you asked him he would say, “Do everything the way they told you.” Later I found out from the Administrative Assistant to the Head of the Health Department that all the Division Managers got detailed instructions from the Managers Meeting each week. Our manager just was not able to understand basic instructions and therefore, didn’t pass them along to his division. So we all looked like a bunch of idiots because we had to bypass him and ask other managers or the Administrative Assistant herself if we could get time with her.
This time we couldn’t get time with her and all the other managers were confused and their departments weren’t sure. So our Division Manager had us route a simple office supply order through several managers and purchasing to be signed off on. I had to make a spreadsheet to keep up with the orders and had to call each week to find out where they were in the process. The Division Manager supposed this took 15 minutes a week, but it became a process that slowed down and messed up all the other fiscal processes until I was spending about a day a week on complete minutia. And the orders backed up for months.
Eventually we were told that we had been doing it all wrong because our Division Manager didn’t understand how it was supposed to work. We were supposed to just intuitively know how new bureaucratic paperwork should be done. The bureaucracy always being counter-intuitive. So it was a huge mess. And once again I got yelled at by the stressed Administrative Assistant.
I was shell shocked from working in such a stupid place. The bureaucracy is already stupid, but a stupid Division Manager, who could write well and was a good speaker, was worthless. He didn’t help anyone. He didn’t accomplish anything. Supposedly he was helping all of us reach our potential, but he coulnd’ t instruct us on a simple office purchase. A process he should have been able to explain to us.
And I thought about how all my life this is the same style of pointless and tedious management style I have had to endure. They are always eloquent and write well, but are complete morons. They have to have their egos stroked constantly while I work like a crazy person trying to figure out what my job is really supposed to be and to do it. Maintaining the job is always as hard as learning the job because they change it constantly. The competent people always leave. I wondered where they were going. I thought every place functioned like all these jobs I had, but it turns out there is a real world out there where they found good jobs. I am the person stuck in this hell no matter how many times I quit, move, go to a different group of people, etc. No matter where I go or what happens, I cannot leave the IdIoTTwins. They could let someone else take me, but they won’t for some stupid reason.
And then I realized that all these nightmares, illnesses, traumatization that keep repeating are all from these damn IdIoTTwins. They have some manual somewhere that says someone like me has to be traumatized to be programmed in the subconscious mind. So they over do this like they over do everything. They do not understand what they are doing, so they are doing it by the book. From the little I have read about it, this process is more of an art than a science. Going by the book isn’t going to work. That idiot, Terry, thinks he is a genius at reading and writing. He is a moron living in a bubble. He may be able to read and write, like a computer, but he has no real comprehension of what he is reading. He looks for all the things you can list, like symbolism, foreshadowing, etc. No matter how detailed his reading of a book, it is still just a puzzle game for him. He is simply ticking off how many “Where’s Waldo” parts of writing he can find.
This is the moron in charge of my life with his identical moron brother.
All I can do is survive their mismanagement as much as I can. I don’t have any real future. Every hope and dream I have had has been destroyed. I am still married, technically, but we can’t live together because of my disability. I am here near my family, but I can’t bond with them. No matter where I go, I cannot have friends. I have had no real friends except for my sister for my entire life. The people I thought were friends just found out private information about me. All of which has been used to make traumatizing me even more personal and debilitating. I don’t look forward to anything. I don’t hope for anything. The only thing I wish for is to not have these moron billionaire fools in my life anymore.
Even when my husband and I are together we are sick all the time. Diarrhea, throwing up, fevers and flu sick. It goes on and on and on. We have both been in the emergency room multiple times to get fluids added to our bodies. The IdIoTTwins have me have such nightmares that I kick and punch in my sleep, so my husband can’t sleep near me. Every tedious detail of our lives are systematically destroyed, like a computer with bad software on repeat, attacking us and our lives.
I know there are people in the world rich enough and powerful enough to do something about these IdIoTTwins. My only hope is that the morons will make someone like that upset and then be destroyed.
But the way a person like me should be traumatized and programmed also involves times of nurture and care. It’s sick, but that is how it works. With these IdIoTTwins it is all trauma and they say I should be thankful just to live. That’s the nurture and care I get. In my own home and body I am attacked and traumatized day and night. It never ends. And they aren’t programming me with anything. They aren’t using me for anything. All I have been made aware of is that I am supposed to be shared between them and some other men. Lucky for me I have lost my beauty. That helps, but give what I am – some programmable doll to them – I guess I am still in demand. I don’t want to be an abused woman forced to be a whore for them. I want to be married to my husband and enjoy being with him – and him alone.