I just wanted to go get my medications today. The pharmacy is less than 1/2 a mile from my house. From the minute I got in my van and started driving, I was (and it always happens) stopped by a car or two rushing past right as I am almost at the road. Now I just back up to the road and wait. Even if I don’t see a vehicle within seconds one will rush past.
I was sick. I had a migraine, but I had to get out to get my medications and they knew it. I already had tears from the pain in my head. I tried to breathe, but in my driveway and in my house I could hardly breathe. It felt like someone was punching me in the chest over and over.
I got out on the little road in front of my house. Suddenly, I can breathe with no problem when I am on the road. I still had the migraine, but it was more of a constant dull pain like slowly moving an ice pick through my brain behind my left eye.
Then my mirrors were messed up. I put on my flasher lights and moved the mirrors. Another truck passed. I started following him and then an all black, heavily tinted windows car was taking up all of my rear view mirror. I had to slow down because the road is crap and so are the shocks on my van. The guy went to pass me (or woman) and I didn’t feel good and just wasn’t having it. I spent up and turned down a cross street and made him have to hit his breaks.
It was all black cars and mostly white cars as I went to the street I needed and on the main road. I just ignore it. It is insanely irritating when I have a migraine and even a little light is hurting me and blurring. I don’t need a bunch of black and white cars zooming all around me, cutting me off, and driving like I don’t exist on the road. It’s insane. I just kept saying to myself, “These people are making money off of me. This is not real. These aren’t real people. These people are actors. They go to the car dealerships and get the color of the day car and just drive around where they are told to drive around.” This is getting money from some kind of funnel down money most likely to do with National Security and Homeland Security. I am no danger at all, but the IdIoTTwins have gotten me put on that list, so everyone zooms around me and makes a bunch of money. They are on their cell phones, taking care of their personal business. They don’t care about me at all. I am just this object out there that the twins use to make money. Every time I leave the house people make a bunch of money, especially the IdIoTTwins, who are already rich. I’m just something for them to use. None of them all the way up to the highest levels cares about me at all. And the IdIoTTwins think it is funny if they can make me miserable while I just try to live as best I can.
The IdIoTTwins act like I would get some of the money and have a better life if I would get along with them. I have tried throughout my life to deal with this same underbelly, scum element with some kind of human dignity and live and let live attitude. That is never enough. I have to be humiliated constantly without any complaints. I did that for a while at the health department in Alaska, but they made it progressively more and more horrible, pushing every single button. They even push private buttons about things that hurt me in my childhood, adolescence, and every work place I had ever been in.
At first I kept quiet. Then I said a little, but it all got worse if I spoke up. Then I got so beat down that I realized I had no will to fight back. I could no longer remember much of anything about my own personality. It is weird to be tortured until you feel that time doesn’t exist, nothing you feel matters, nothing you want matters, and nothing you do with matter. I finally just ran back to my Daddy, here in Oklahoma. Daddy was dying. I mean he was sitting in a chair all the time and not doing anything. I felt they must have done the same thing to him they had been doing to me.
It was weird. When I talked to him he would look up at the ceiling and not say anything. I was in the middle of the stupid reveal. I knew the idiots were all watching. Even apparently people placed in my life along the way. Daddy played a movie about “Dog Warriors” and had me watch it. Then we watched Charles Bronson in a movie about a white buffalo. I think that was his message to me, but he couldn’t talk. I gave up and went back to Alaska. I knew I was just going to be harassed to death up there. But according to Dad I am in-between tribe and modern culture. I am an outcast from both. If I could really be in charge or very influential, we would have a society like the one they find in the Dog Warrior movie. That is what Daddy wanted, and he gave his whole life and his daughters for it. I will not waiver in intent, but I don’t know if I can really do anything.
When I got a chance, I ran from Alaska and moved back to Oklahoma. I want to get on my knees and kiss the ground. I am so grateful to God to be in Oklahoma. But I am outside of the culture and the tribes, so I am a dog warrior, outcast like person. So no one can help me. No one can be close to me because they might sway me to their points-of-view. I am just an object for the IdIoTTwins to make such a big deal about that everyone is looking at me, but no one thinks of me as a person. They are cruel bastards who abuse me 24/7. They are furious that someone like me exists in this program. I am like a quality assurance/control group type of person inside of their silly game.
They are IdIoTTWins because they turn the whole complicated experiment into a joke and a game. They make sure this program doesn’t really help anyone in the end. They are trying to turn people into horses with blinkers on, just trying to get that carrot in front of their face and not caring who it stomps in the ground as they do it.
No one takes me seriously as a person, but I am not going to quit thinking seriously about myself. I may not make a difference, but I will be an honest witness to what I experience inside of this horrific “game” they are playing with our lives. It’s sickening to see one person objectified so the ones in control can do anything to them and not feel anything about it. It’s even more horrific to see huge groups of people turned into obects without them really noticing.
When the IdIoTTwins lie and say they feel anything for any of us, they think that is a funny prank, like some drunken frat hell week. They do not feel anything for me, or any of us. Nothing. We are just pieces on a board. They make millions off of us. They aren’t even Americans. They are citizens of the UK.
And for the “nice” ones. They say they “feel” for us. I have had these fools in my life for real. They don’t feel anything. They fake emotions to get us to do things. When it comes down to it, they are bragging about all the stuff they got for pushing all your buttons and humiliating you. And they whine and say a bunch of crap about good vibes and be positive and all this global love talk while they are making millions of dollars off of us, and especially me, since I am rare inside this game. I actually don’t know the symbols and spy crap. I have lived like a real person. I have been alone, because I can be used for people to get what they want if they get me to say or do things they want. So I am the most alone in all of this. I am an island being invaded and ravaged by military grade spy craft from every government on earth.
Every single interaction I have had with these spies in my real life from when I was a kid has meant that they won something for lying to me and hurting me. They can talk “meant to be”, “love”, etc. I did not feel loved. I was taken advantage of and they butchered my mind so badly that I can’t put my memories back together when it comes to that time when the fools were in my life. Same thing when I was a kid to when I was an adult woman. Same stupid stuff. Very immature, structured, and being given confusing information and feedback that has gaps big enough to fit a good part of the Grand Canyon. When I asked questions I was slammed with the immature shaming of me and gaslighting me, like I was crazy. Same thing with all of them. No one was nicer to me than another. It was all the same. Seriously by the time I was in my mid twenties, I avoided this crap and I was bored by it honestly. It’s not worth the energy I have to expend to deal with that kind and the ending was all the same so I avoided them.
My sister in my late twenties kept telling me I was mean to people. I listened to her as always. I had no idea spies were behind it. I was nice to those shitty IdIoTTwins and it made me sick. I got so drained I could barely function. Same as when I was 15 and dated one of them, or when I was 17 and dated one of them. And it’s the same shit now. I guess these guys have no creativity at all. And they sure are not sincere. They don’t have any real feelings and they don’t have real goals, like we do. Our goal is to live and thrive within our families and communities. Their goal is to take over our families and communities to make them pieces on the board for them to use. They micromanage all the way down to individual level, like me. They are not like us. They don’t have to work to feed themselves. They don’t need their communities. They only need family to get the money they are all fighting for. They are more like the tv show “Survivor” because they are living life to play for millions and even billions of dollars. We are just trying to feed our families and see them safe and secure. They don’t have to worry about that.
We really need to stop and think about the wierd aliens handing out money for theatrics to change the society you live in. Seriously. Be aware. Pay attention. Empathize and sympathize, like real people, not rich people. And you will see what I am seeing. Is this the society you want? The rich put you in a maze and laugh because there is no way out of it. That’s the society they want. Is that what you want? Just running around in a maze all the time and your effort is really unimportant. Eventually they will have drones and cars that drive themselves. They won’t need you “boots on the ground”. They will keep a few, but not many. What happens when they finally cut your part of society out from under you? Is that what you want? Think for yourself.