People love mystery, crime dramas, ethical conundrums, and in general human suffering…as long as it isn’t happening to them. Repeat: As Long As It Is Not Happening To Them. If they really suffer, then suddenly something should be done about it; NOW.
My Family has gone through all these things and more under extreme scrutiny and malice. We haven’t been judged by people who care about us, but by people who hate us. They know more about my own family history than I do and they hate us. Every thing in my life for my entire life has been geared to show me that I am hated and not wanted. If I make the slightest accidental mistake I will be punished severely. In fact I am punished severely just for existing. How do they do this to me? The same way any abusive family has gotten by with such things since the beginning of time. It’s not really that big of a mystery. People in position to make a difference in my life are afraid of the cruel powers suffocating my family to death, so they pretend it’s too hard to understand. There’s never enough evidence. There’s always one more test. There’s always more interviews. There’s always more extensive observation. That way they can put off indefinitely any chance for me to get any real help.
Why would anyone hate me so much? I seriously don’t know. I am treated like a murderer, thief, slut, and any other disgusting person you can imagine, but in reality the people doing all this to me are all those things and more. My best guess is that my Dad, sister, and me tend to just say what is on our minds. We are excellent observers. We were all empathic when they were alive with me. Now it’s just me. I thought I would get weaker, but in some ways I am getting stronger. I think that comes with age. A lot of people get more in tune with people in general as they age and get some wisdom.
Here is my question that I cannot get past. If someone has a chance at some more special life moments with family and has a chance to die with some dignity and without violent, murderous pain, is it murder to kill her through neglect to speed up the process? I mean, if someone kills me today because I am going to die anyway and I am just suffering from these PTSD flashbacks and general mental instability, is that murder? To just take that decision in their own hands and do it? Isn’t that murder? At the very least manslaughter or negligent homicide? They reason that she said she didn’t want to go to the doctor. She was out of her mind in pain screaming out all kinds of crazy things. Are we supposed to take everything she was screaming as exactly what she wanted. Because I was there. She was screaming for Daddy. That’s who she wanted with her at the end. Dad would have killed her idiot husband and taken her to the hospital if he had to. So if we are going by what she was saying at the end, then they are still liars and murderers.
Within 4 months of her death her idiot husband had fiancé from his work place. If you wondered in your heart if your sister was basically murdered, what would you think when you found out about this woman? All my sisters pictures were taken down and all that was hanging on the walls was this gigantic picture by this woman and it said something about the blessing of having a wonderful dad. It turned my stomach. I have learned that these evil people love irony like that. They dangled the carrot in his face in this other woman and this other life and how he was just doing what he had to for his kids, and he took it. He sacrificed my sister’s life in a worse way than a dog dies, and he ran to this other woman and her taking the kids.
He never wanted to be a dad. What is with men about that? Why do they marry and then say they don’t want kids? What is the point of marrying if not to start a family? Her husband just showed up when he was told to when my sister was alive. She worked extra jobs to have money to pay for parties for the girls. He never cared. He just showed up if he was supposed to. He was an absentee dad in that he worked nights and worked all the time to excuse himself from having to raise the kids. It happens every day all over the world. It was a mediocre marriage, but my sister’s kids were everything to her.
At the very end she started saying stuff about how the girls would have college if she died. Like her living and costing them medical costs was taking out of the girls college funds. I wonder where she got a thought like that at the end? Can you imagine dying of cancer and your idiot husband starts complaining about the medical bills and how he can’t save for the kids college if this keeps on. He was a merciless, cruel bastard to her. He always hurt her emotionally where he knew she had no armor. Her girls. Their future. All the things she hoped for them. And I believe that is how he got her to say she wouldn’t take medical treatment.
But in the end she was begging for pain medicine, as anyone would. No matter what she said, in the end she would want the medicine. Anyone should know that, but her husband pretended he fulfilled her wishes by not calling an ambulance and having her taken to the hospital. I kept waiting for him to call, but he didn’t. When she went into spasms I called. It was too late, though. And now these monsters who were behind the scenes the whole time have emergency vehicles, especially ambulances following me around wherever I go.
So, if you experienced all of this and you keep getting veiled threats from these monsters behind the scenes. If you knew they can get by with anything? Would you try to play their game and hope against all odds that you would make it? Would you be pious, like my sister, and try to rise above the inane cruelty of these people who just decided your life was interfering with what they want to do to people? I probably would have before I saw her die that way? I don’t know though. My sister always worried because I will do wild things to survive. I survive. That’s my mantra.
And to survive, I cannot hide. At one time I thought I could, but they have made it painfully clear to me that I cannot hide anywhere. I have to be noticed. They work hard to have people not pay attention to me. They say, “it just encourages her.” Well, it encourages me to live, which they are against, so I guess if you look at it in that insane way…. But I know that when people have questions and curiosity about something that it can never die. Even if they kill me, there will be all the eye witness account I have provided of my sister’s death from my experience. Then when I die there will be questions like, “did she die in the same way?”, “Was there anything strange about her death?”, “Did she suffer?”, “How old was she?”, “Was she terminally ill, or did it happen suddenly?”, “Was she terminally ill and still had life to live before the end?” On and on and on…if I can keep the attention of some people all the time. I can’t get the attention of all people all the time, but maybe some people all the time.
You can say anything you want. Your life. Your opinions. I want it stated for the record, though, that I am afraid of being murdered in a sneaky, violent and cruel way by Kerry and Terry. I completely believe they murdered my little sister. They tortured my Dad with her death. They torture me every day of my life. And they want to catch me unaware and murder me. That’s what I believe.