Wednesday night we had strong winds through my part of the country. Wednesday afternoon I took a long nap, knowing the storms might keep me up. I slept for 4 hours. I haven’t been getting good sleep. Actually, I never have good sleep. Then I slept at my normal bedtime and didn’t wake up for 10 hours. I should have been a little coherent after all that sleep, but I was groggy, like I was drugged. It persisted all day. I don’t mean that I was tired and sleepy feeling. I mean when I sat or stood still my eyes would roll back in my head. I couldn’t control them. I would wake up to find myself sitting for I didn’t know how long in one place. I would wake up and I was in the middle of doing something, like writing something. I was dizzy and confused feeling.
These things never let up for the entire day. Finally I went outside. I had a feeling after the winds that something major would be wrong in my yard. Sure enough there just happened to be a big branch situated across my drive way. It is the second time a huge branch has fallen directly across my drive way from a huge HEALTHY tree in my front yard. Last time my neighbor volunteered to cut it after I had wrestled with it and gotten it out of my yard. But I had a bad feeling about it. Recently the shrub was cut down in my backyard. It could have been the neighbor. He speaks English as a second language, so supposedly he may have misunderstood me or I might have misunderstood him. If I asked for his help again, I have this feeling it would get purposefully confused by the evil powers forcing things behind the scenes. Then if I get angry or I don’t get upset supposedly my reaction would be different than if I disagreed with a white person. Either way they spin it as racism.
So I finally called a tree service. With the internet they put any business on the top search so you pick it. If I go any deeper on my search engine, there is just chaos and confusion. It becomes clear that I have a couple of choices. I called the first one. He suggested the second one on the search. They happen to be called “Grass Monkey”. I’ve seen them around the neighborhood. I haven’t called because I don’t want a company named anything “monkey” in my life because the IdIoTTwins are going to say I am being racist. The guy was super nice. He was white, white, white, and then white some more. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But he probably should stay away from racial sounding business names if he wants to be taken seriously. But, I am clearly boxed in. So I knew I had to work with this guy even if for just a month or two.
He, of course, is sort of Kerry-ish looking. He said stuff like, “Let me earn your business,” which is no big deal, but with the double edged sword of the IdIoTTwins it all means something horrible from them. I have told them to get out of my life continuously every day for years and they keep pretending I am just under stress and will come around. They seem to actually think that there is something so amazing about them that I would just naturally gravitate towards them above all other people. I don’t like them. I don’t have anything against this guy that came out here, but I hate the twins. They are a constant disease in my life. They constantly try to destroy me. I really think a lot of it is because I really prefer my husband over them and I really can’t stand them. Every-time they send a rep I don’t get along with them. So now this representative appears. He may seem superficially like them, but if he does a good job and is true to his work, he will be the absolute opposite of them.
And I know everyone in the program involved with my case shares information about everything I say or do. I don’t know if the guy who came out here realizes it, but black people used to be called lawn monkeys. They were these little black characters that were put in people’s yards, sort of like gnomes are put in people’s yards now. They were extremely disrespectful and even threatening to black people. If this guy wants his business really taken seriously, he may want to invest in changing the business name. I know that would cost a lot, but if he wants to change it, then surely someone can come up with some investment money to help him. It’s not smart to have a business name that is very close to an old racist slur.
So now I am trying out having his service mow my yard every week. I really can’t go through the heat and the gas fumes for another summer. My husband was yelling at me about the cost. That’s not really like him. That’s the IdIoTTwins. Sure enough they have something planned around me “wasting money on a lawn service”. Later something will happen and my husband will say, “if you hadn’t wasted money on that lawn service, then you wouldn’t be in debt.” They force me into situations. Then they yell at me about it. Then if I do what they say they just get more and more demanding. It’s constant psychological abuse. If I don’t do what they say, then there’s always something planned along the line to show how stupid I was for not doing what I was told. Even if I do what I was told, but I questioned, then something awful happens to me.
On top of all of that my guts feel like they are twisting around knots. I am so bloated out that my stomach is like a drum. It’s been that way for weeks, but just getting worse toward easter. This is a big fertility holiday among the pagan over-the-top birth-death worshippers. Today is not only Good Friday, but also full moon. The only way it could be better for these gross people would be if it was a Friday the 13th.
I can barely fit into any of my clothes. I am sick at my stomach, exhausted with my mind in a fog. This is the pretend pregnancy stuff they have kept putting me through since I was a teen. Really, since I was 10 years old. I’m too weak and tired to go to the grocery store. The only thing that helps is pickle juice. I love bread and butter pickles, but I am almost out. It’s the only thing that stops this heart burn. Earlier this week I had to go without my GERD meds for a few days. I could tell that was working into a big deal, but I kept following up until I finally got the meds. I think they want me to reason that my stomach is off because of the lack of meds for a day or two. What I really reason is that I don’t even need the medicine. Nothing I can do can stop this pregnancy-symptom-check-list illness when it happens during major holidays. I know there are a million reasons, but I am living this. I know that I have gone through most holidays without really changing the people I am around of the food intake. I’m not around anyone. I make my own food. There’s no reason for me to have all these pregnancy like symptoms. And I haven’t had sex in years. My menopause was officially over in 2011. I mean there is really no reason for me to be this sick perfectly timed during major holidays, full moons, Friday the 13ths, etc.
I am constantly being held against my will by these IdIoTTwins and tortured by them. If you can help in anyway, get them out of my life, completely. Get them out of my life in every way conceivable. Get out Kerry and Terry. I am not giving you another chance. I will never give you another chance. You tortured my sister to death right in front of me. Maybe no one else got the message, but I did. I know you want to torture me like that too. You have been doing that and it will escalate if I don’t fight for my life. I do not forgive you Kerry and Terry. I am not going to accept any business, personal, or stalker scenario. Get out of my life. Both of you get out of my life.