I can’t get real sleep. Nightmares. Nightmares. Nightmares. Dreams of trying to hide from the IdIoTTwins. They can’t find me and get angrier and angrier, screaming at me, threatening me, threatening everything I care about until I appear with them again. Then they are screaming at me, “Where have you been?!” “Where did you go?!” “Don’t ever run from me again!” I’m staring absently past them knowing I will run every chance I get if I have the energy. It takes so much energy to disappear and not let them find me.
In real life they keep raping and abusing me with the stupid machines or however they do it. It feels like finger nails scraping the insides of my vagina. I keep screaming to quit hurting me and to get out of my life. They don’t. It hurts so much I cannot describe it. No way I am in the mood for sex when it hurts that badly. I am sick to my stomach from the humiliating, painful, and exhausting attacks.
I wish I could eunuch them. I hate those jackasses.
I’m too tired to write more. That means it is more important than ever that I talk. Every time I need to talk in my dreams or real life, they somehow put me to sleep. I get so drowsy that life just seems like a dream. It’s miserable because I can’t wake up from it like in an actual dream.