I have been trying to read these pagan beliefs to see what these idiots are thinking. If you are pagan and reading this, I don’t mean it personal against you. But if you are an IdIoTTwin named Kerry or Terry born 9-9-65 then I do mean it personally. These fools have taken it upon themselves to destroy my family. I take it upon myself to destroy them. I am not a pacifist. I believe in self defense. The best defense is a good offense. I am on the attack and I will never let up. If it ever seems I am letting up, then suspect that I have been put under severe and unauthorized attack from the lying, scheming, arrogant IdIoTTwins.
Anyway, there’s this repetition of maid, mother, crone. All kinds of fertility worship. I looked up Artemis thinking that she must be the goddess of infertility. No. Even though she is the virgin goddess, she is the goddess of fertility. I looked up, “How do witches see infertility?” A bunch of stuff about spells to get pregnant and different ways to become a mother. It is important to them to cross from maid to mother. Maybe this is why the IdIoTTwins in the couple of years I knew them were warning me against wanting to become a mother by lying to a man about birth control and such. It was weird. It was out of the blue. I had no idea what the idiots were talking about. I didn’t dare act offended, though. If I seemed offended, they kept bringing that up even months or the next year after it had happened. They were absurdly overbearing and rude.
On the internet all I could find about women who were going through infertility or had gone through it was that it is the pain that never ends. They spoke at length about nervous breakdowns, marriages strained beyond what can be withstood, and there is virtually no support even from friends and family. That has certainly been my experience. We are supposed to act like we don’t care that we don’t have kids while being insanely, even euphorically happy for someone getting pregnant and having a healthy birth. The only thing worse must be the poor ladies who have miscarriages, still births, and children who die while still infants. I can’t imagine how insensitive and cruel our basically fertility-religion society would be about such things.
I find it insanely weird that almost everyone on the planet is worried about over population, but everyone is supposed to try to have children. Otherwise they might as well not exist. I found that the old style temple prostitute situation has basically just been translated into the generally accepted drunkenness and sleep with anyone you sort of know club mentality. Even the way it is called “clubbing” is sort of like going to some secret club you belong to and doing whatever you would not want people to know about in the rest of your life. It’s like the fertility rituals of the past. I think they are simply the fertility rituals of the present. I stay away from that nonsense and always have. There’s nothing to miss there except for venereal disease, heartbreak, and induced emotional insanity from dealing with people who worship the acts of sexual worship. No wonder so much instability, insensitivity, and dissatisfaction come from such lifestyles.
I kept looking and all I could find for infertility in pagan religions was Persephone, the Queen of the Dead. Real comforting? No. She is seen as being a sort of old Elvira or old vampire. She is seen as being the Queen of Agriculture, as well. That’s a little comforting, but she is the Queen of the fertility of agriculture. It always comes back to whether a woman could have a child or not.
Apparently to these pagans if I cannot have kids, nor my husband, then we are children ourselves and do not understand anything about life. We supposedly have not been blessed by any of the myriad of gods who have anything to do with fertility. We are outcasts to be treated any way they want to treat us because our gods or God has supposedly turned against us.
I had the fertility symbols around me to, put there by other people. I had no idea what they were until I just looked this stuff up. Bee hives, flowers, birds, apples, pomegranates, honey, and many others. Taken as a thing at a time they don’t seem like anything. Seen as patterns they say something very significant. Mostly that I was being surrounded by fertility tokens. There were also death tokens everywhere and then actual death in my side of the family.
I feel like I keep trying to move forward, but someone is always dragging me backwards. I feel that Jesus healed the woman with the issue of blood in public. It seemed to me that he removed her shame right in front of everyone and he didn’t care about the superstitions that had to surround her female problems. I used that to give me boldness to pray to God, through Jesus, about my female problems. I found peace. But around me there was non-stop reminders that I can’t have kids, couldn’t have kids, will never be able to have kids. The very people who tell you to get over it freak out when you get over it.
Suddenly their families don’t seem supernatural, but like regular people. My marriage doesn’t seem cursed, but just as blessed as theirs. And as many of the people who had kids because they were being pressured have told me, they wish they had not had kids. Suddenly Christianity seems it might be freeing people when the devil worshippers (not all pagans are devil worshippers, but these IdIoTTwins are devil worshippers) do not seem to be freeing people, but entwining them and enslaving them to a very cruel and rigid system. Devil worshippers think all Christians are just deluded and waiting to be freed from their enslavement by Jesus. I believe they are enslaved by a system that has no mercy, no forgiveness, and no room for seeing other people’s points of view.
Their cracked pots split apart under the weight of their rigidity. They can’t even get something to prop up the edges of the pots. So they keep blustering the same nonsense as their world and unfortunately also our world falls apart around them.