After telling about the shopping trip last week, I went out this week expecting the worst. I did not expect what actually happened, though. First of all, almost everyone was nice to me. Much appreciated! It’s sort of shocking to be treated nicely after being mistreated categorically for long periods of time. I have learned to suspect it, so I was watching for things made to specifically trigger me, or people in general.
I went to three stores and a restaurant. While I was people watching, I noticed people purposely stopping and posing like on a television set. You can always spot them. All their clothes are brand new, never been worn before, even if they are supposedly homeless. They may look untidy, but they aren’t dirty. They don’t stink. If they stumble into you, like they are drunk, they don’t smell of alcohol. It’s just stupid in my opinion. They might as well have on billboards that say, “I’m the under cover agent playing the bum.” Or “I’m the under cover agent playing the rich, snobby bitch.” Their characters are one dimensional. If they were characters in a freshman class fiction assignment, the kid would get a D for “dumb”. It’s pathetic. I wonder every time how much of my tax money is going to that nonsense. I can promise you the rich assholes playing games with us through the “program” are not spending their own money.
There was the fat, white woman obnoxious and pushy. There was the down and out homeless-like person even though he looked like he had sheet-rock dust on him. He looked like he was from the carpentry work site. He was full blood native I think. He actually growled at me from the side. He was hunched over and his wrists were close together, like he was handcuffed. He wasn’t though. I ran and opened the door for him to help him out. I knew he wasn’t for real and I couldn’t let an elder, who seemed hurt, struggle with opening a door. It’s embarrassing for him and anyone watching. I have my own beliefs I live by and their wannabe tv productions don’t change that.
I started wandering if they just send stereo-type fake characters out in society to keep stuff stirred up between folks. They will not let there be peace. They have to make people mad all the time. Around that time I walked in Hobby Lobby and got a cart. I started into the store when a Mexican family walked in front of me. When they got in front of me, they stopped for a minute. The mom had been commenting on stuff to by, but she went quiet. The children, two of them around grade school age, walked by, but the dad stopped. He turned his chest toward me and glared at me for an extended amount of time. He had one of those belts on that has the long strap left over and hangs down below the jean pocket level. It made me think of how my sister and I got spankings when we were in grade-school. This has been a continuing theme towards me. I don’t care that I got spankings and the IdIoTTwins are furious about that. I can act in a decent, respectful way. The IdIoTTwins never were disciplined at all. They not only didn’t get spankings, but they had NO discipline. They go around acting like fools and make a big deal about how they never apologize. They are assholes. But they want to act like I am some sick person, who likes to be hurt. It’s another stupid thing they force in my life all the time. So I was supposed to resent and be drawn to this guy with a belt on. I wasn’t. All I could think of was, “Another idiot sent by the IdIoTTwins.”
My Dad was racist against Mexicans. I don’t really know why. My Dad had a serious drinking problem. He would do dumb things like one time he yelled at a woman in line at a grocery store for having “dog eyes”. He didn’t get over that for a week. There is no way I could really listen to all the crazy my Dad said. I learned to tune him out as a child. But any stupid, drunken thing he said, I am still paying for. So I am always being tested about Mexican people. It doesn’t even make sense. I didn’t realize I was being tested for most of my life. I took two years of high school Spanish. In college I took a 5 credit Spanish class. I loved all of it. I didn’t know I was being tested. But no matter how much I loved Mexican people, they always hated me.
It has just gone on and on and on and on and on….. And apparently yesterday, while I was out shopping, the IdIoTTwins had my Mexican neighbors cut down my biggest, most beautiful shrub in my back yard. It is literally in my back yard. The trunk isn’t even half way through the fence. Some of the limbs grew over. I don’t care if they cut all the limbs on their side. Or my husband could do it when he comes down, or I could pay someone to do it. No. They come into my yard and do a crap hack job of butchering my shrub. The IdIoTTwins know I want so bad to have privacy. I wanted to slowly grow shrubs around the yard to make a natural privacy fence….
My heart has sunken into my feet. I am so hurt I cannot express it. When I went out to take pictures a lot of people in black and white cars drove around real fast. I have heard that represents the Masons. It’s sickening that there is such insidious poison being pumped through society by assholes like the damn IdIoTTwins, Kerry and Terry Young 9-9-65. Complete and Total IdIoTs. What do you do when you are being stalked by insidious idiots? If I fight with my neighbor then the IdIoTTwins win. If I don’t take up for myself, then the IdIoTTwins win. I feel so depressed that I just don’t care. I don’t feel like doing anything at all.