I feel like someone has been screaming at me all day. I got my husband to sit in the living room with me, but he spent the whole day concentrating on moving his bare feet around in bizarre ways. At one point he had his right foot caressing the curtain by the chair with the left foot flailing oddly in the wind. It was stupid so I know it was the IdIoTTwins. This is the sort of stupidity I put up with all day every day.
These IdIoTTwins are lazy. They use my marriage to sabotage and act like they did all this work. My husband and I are very self sufficient, which means that the IdIoTTwins don’t really have to do anything to make sure we keep working through our problems by ourselves. They give us all this extra nonsense to deal with as well and pretend they are testing us or something. They call it “exsercises” like what the military runs. Really they are these elaborate theatrical productions where Terry the Idiot can pretend he is a movie producer and Kerry just mirrors him. It ultimately comes down to Terry getting all the worship that no one ever deserves, but Kerry is a snob, too. He is haughty, cruel, and uncaring. They both think it is funny to hurt people. Any time they are not acting like that is absolute fiction. If they are acting angry and entrenched and entitled, then that is not acting. That is how they really are.
Now my husband and I went to bed to get some sleep. I have to be under a different blanket than my husband. I can’t hold his hand or touch him in any way. We have to have pillows between us. I can’t describe the loneliness and despair. I don’t think anything is ever going to get better. I think it is just going to hurt more and more until I am just emotionally dead and mentally ripped to shreds.
I am fat and I didn’t used to be. It is part of how much despair I feel. If I am not going to get to really live with my husband like we are husband and wife…if I am never going to be able to be intimate with my husband again…then I might as well eat. There’s nothing to look forward to. Nothing interesting will ever happen to me. Nothing real can ever happen to me. I am stuck just watching the most pathetic acting and stories mainly designed to hurt me for the rest of my life.
If these IdIoTTwins stay in my life then I do not have a life at all. I’m going insane with every second of every day of my life being the Terry Kerry IdIoTTwin show. They have to have attention constantly. They are the most needy, immature babies I have ever met.