Christmas is almost over. My husband is thousands of miles away and has to work. He had to work on his birthday a few days ago through Christmas, 12 hour shifts, and a swing 12 then 8 hours. Insane.
My sister’s children live in the same area as me, one in the same zip code as me, and not a word from them. I know if it was left to them they would at least text me, but would probably talk to me. I have been talking to them on-line like I talk to my husband. I didn’t even get to talk to them in that way.
All day I was alone and these IdIoT motorcyclists kept roaring past my house. My house in a quiet neighborhood and Hell’s-Angel-like fools driving around and around my block. This is the pathetic, petty, idiotic crap I have to deal with day and night.
I can’t get real sleep. Every night I am running for my life from the IdIoTTwins. I hide and they find me. I run and I am lost. I never know if they will be right around the corner. They set the dreams up where I can’t miss the horrible things they want me to see. I wake up feeling like I’m not even really in my own body. It feels like I am being torn apart. Today I got the added element of sharp chest pains. I guess I am supposed to panic because I could be having a heart attack, but I have had those pains all my life. I know they are nothing and will pass.
On the game there are all these idiot characters trying to be real tough. Can you imagine? A bunch of nerds no one cares about sitting around talking to each other and acting like they are intellectually superior to all the other people on the earth. They are sitting behind Xboxes like little boys first going into puberty, playing at being men and women. It’s all predictable and pathetic. I feel embarrassed for the idiots. They don’t have the sense to be embarrassed for themselves. They are alcoholics, drug addicts, spoiled babies who have never had to deal with the consequences of their actions.
That’s why they hate me. I force them to have consequences for their actions. I am a Christian. I am not going to submit to a bunch of stupid devil worshippers. They want to abuse me, threaten me, and break me down with all the mean things they do to me. While they do that, they just keep breaking themselves down. You have to be really low and soul-sick to do the things these idiots to to me and other people . They mostly hurt themselves.
But they hurt me, so I am not going to just sit and take it and turn the other cheek. I’m not going to forgive them. I’m not going to make it ok for them to hurt me and other people. When Jesus said to forgive and to turn the other cheek, he did not mean I have to be a pacifist. These IdIoTTwins actually try to tell me how to be a Christian. They are not getting by with that. I believe how I want to and no one, not even the pope nor the grand master devil worshipper, is going to tell me how to practice my own, personal faith.
Today I ran through the same field of idiots I had been running through most of the day. I started wondering how it must feel to be one of those boring posers. Does the tiniest thing entertain them? Are they literally stupid to the point that standing a cartoon character with some ridiculous name in a pretend place to be seen by people who have no interest in them and are not impressed…is this something they invest themselves in like it’s a big deal? I think they think those cartoon characters are like voodoo dolls. I think they think it really means something for them to have cartoon characters acting like idiots and the inane zone chat that everyone wants to turn off, but you can’t without turning off all the in game text messages.
Seriously, this is so stupid you cannot believe it. I keep having those episodes where I think, “This is not real. This cannot be real. This is what all the spies waste their lives doing? They sit around playing video games and running motorcycles by my house? It’s too stupid for me to actual accept as a reality.” It certainly explains why the world is in the crap condition it is in. Total morons are in charge of it.
Finally my moron-infested holiday is coming to an end. I will be relieved when it is over. They work extra hard to make sure I don’t have good memories about holidays, family, friends, or any of the things we take for granted as the good parts of life. These sick bastards want me to just be a mindless robot doing anything they want. Never going to happen. I may not have the memories I should have of my husband and extended family, but at least I don’t have memories of doing what those idiots’ want. That is enough for me to cherish and feel that I beat them. I will sit here by myself until I die if I have to. I will not submit to those IdIoTTwin devil-worshipping, alcoholic, drug addicted, incestuous, sick brothers.