My nieces have to do these advertising bits for their useless dad and his second wife. I have to hear about family night and how their dad and his wife do this and that. I don’t care. Do they think that they are going to force me to stop talking about my sister? This is something that has made me furious the entire time. I am absolutely on my sister’s side. I only care if she was treated well. Watching an asshole brother-in-law sit there for days while she was screaming and writhing in pain AND her their little kids were in the house…NO WAY on this earth I will ever think that bastard is a real dad. Who in the hell lets the mother of his children die in that kind of pain without helping her right in front of her kids. They were kids. They may or may not remember. I am an adult woman and damn it, I remember! I am NOT EVER going to quit talking about it. That bastard is not going to make me make it easy on him. My sister babied the IdIoT. He was basically just another child she had to take care of. He had to get married so quick because he had no idea how to take care of the kids. He was a pathetic, gutless, spineless, arrogant whiney baby. He would throw fits over immature, stupid things, like a spoiled baby. He made me sick for their entire marriage, but I could never have imagined that he was the psycho he turned out to be. I have searched for some explanation of how someone could be that heartless and selfish. All I have found is that a real psychopath can sit and listen to someone suffering and not respond at all. I will never quit talking about it.
After my sister died I went back to work 5 days later because I was out of leave at work. They would not really let me grieve. I was devastated and they just kept trying to pretend I was fine and nothing really bad happened. Now that I know the IdIoTTwins were behind the whole thing, I know why. And my brother-in-law rushed into his second marriage and tried to act like what happened to my sister was just in the past and of no consequence in the present. I kept feeling like, “Can’t we all stop for one second and acknowledge that my sister suffered and died? Why is everything so rushed?” Well, now I know the IdIoTTwins and her husband were rushing to cover up what they did.
And now in therapy I get questioned about her death over and over. I tell the same story because that is what really happened. Then I get attacked on the way home. People are mean to me for no reason. Threatening looks, stupid stuff like death threats, and general anger around me, or fake exaggerated kindness, like I am some special needs person. Everything since she died has been pressure for me to see her death in a different perspective. I’m not going to lie. I’m not going to sugar coat it. I’m not going to make it ok for the arrogant male jackasses that felt that when my sister got too sick to cook and clean for them that her death should be rushed in a criminally negligent and cruel way.
My sister always made the most ridiculous excuses for that IdIoT husband of hers. Now the kids have to do it. Every single time they do it I want to scream. I feel shock like a lightning bolt go through me. I feel like protecting her and fighting him all over again. If the IdIoTs would shut up, then I wouldn’t keep thinking of it over and over. They are just shooting themselves in the foot. But they will never quit doing it. They are male and they are going to tell me. They are going to put me in my place. They think they are going to abuse me and threaten me until they make me act the way they want me to act. They will try to put me in shock until I can no longer talk, like they had me comatose in Alaska. But I am never going to stop talking about the horrific treatment my sister went through. If I didn’t even know my sister and I saw her die like that, I would be just the same. I would be in shock just the same. I would talk about it every chance I got. I would never try to gloss over that kind of suffering and pain that she went through. I wish those IdIoTTwins and her stupid husband would die of cancer with no pain management while everyone sits around watching and acting like it was no big deal.