The sabotage of everything in my life continues. Yesterday I was clearly drugged. I think they do it with gas in the central heat/air system. But maybe they stimulate something in the brain with radio waves or microwaves. I have no idea how they do it, but I was clearly suffering from something that gave me symptoms of being overdosed. They went so far as to cause me to nod off with my eyes fluttering and rolling back in my head. I kept forgetting which day it was. I always watch OU football, but I just forgot all day yesterday. I think that was the point of over-dosing me. They do anything they can to prove that I should be in Alaska, where they have more access and less oversight into torturing me.
On-line I was decorating a Christmas house. I think they want to pretend that the psychology of what I did proved that I would rather be somewhere Christmas-like than be here with OU football. I would NOT like to be anywhere else than here with OU football. I want James here at home with me. I am going to stay here and keep fighting the IdIoTTwins. They are not tricking me into silly nonsense using drugs and pop-psychology on me. They don’t get to interpret my life. I am sick of them getting high level medical “professional” sell-outs, who keep saying that apparently my actions mean exactly whatever the IdIoTTwins want them to mean.
These stupid people trying to impress these heartless idiots are just as stupid as the twins. Every once in a while they get caught red handed doing exactly what I report that they do. Do you think they get any real punishment? Never. But I have seen high level people have to close their businesses, or quit their jobs, and move out of state. Suddenly, they could understand what I had been sayin was going on, but it was too late for them. The IdIoTTwins blamed the whole fiasco on the “experts” they pick. They particularly like “experts” who have obvious weaknesses they can exploit.
I’m not going back to Alaska. They all but killed me up there. I was so far down that I was comatose most of the time. In my mind I was just floating between awake and asleep for days and sometimes weeks at a time. When I started waking up a little and getting a chance to notice what day it was, where I was, and what was going on in my life, it triggered a whole new deeper level of trauma. I lost an entire year in 2015. Coming back was slow, but my husband and the kind-one-who-cannot-be-named for his own safety made tiny little places for me to slowly realize what was really going on. To find out that my enemies owned my life, like a slave, and that two of the most heartless and gutless monsters to ever live were walking around and living in luxury, while they had tortured my sister when she was dying, was more than I could stand. I have been fighting these IdIoTTwins ever since. To think that someone as sweet and joyful as my sister is dead and the idiots who tortured her have control of my life, my husband’s life, and my nieces’ lives. It’s sickening. I will never stop fighting them.
If they cost me my disability, then I guess I will sit in a cold house and eat peanut butter sandwiches until James can sell the house in Alaska and come to me. These monsters want me back in the work force so they can attack me non-stop every day. Every single place I worked they continually cut employees until I was doing at least 4 jobs. The last one I was at for over 13 years I was a secretary, accountant, external records inspector, and internal records specialist. It was insane. I literally had piles of work around me all the time. And while I worked, they set me in the common area so I had to take all the calls and walk in clients while doing the accounting and very confidential records keeping. People walked around doing street theater all day. I would feel like my skin had been filleted off of me each day. Most days I cried on my way home from work. I could not get out of that place fast enough every day. And the IdIoTTwins kept sending the signal that I wasn’t working hard enough and I wasn’t tough enough with people.
In every single job they had extreme people challenge me over and over. The message kept coming through that I was too nice, which is ironic because behind my back they spread rumors that I am mean. And when I did kind things for people, these idiots would say I was stealing from the company or government or wherever I was working. I couldn’t do anything without going through managers no matter where I was, but I made the case for kindness with most of the clients. I was labeled wasteful and they said I didn’t have good judgement. That’s almost hilarious because I am able to understand the general nature of most people quickly and efficiently. I might cut them a break even if I suspect they are not completely true, but that is just so they can have a chance to prove themselves. No one can always know what a person will do, even if they are borderline honest/nice. But the idiots want all people to get the roughest treatment they can get by with doing to the client. They act like they are toughening up humanity for our own good, while they are pampered and entitled, and can’t stand anyone disagreeing with them. And they sure can’t stand criticism.
I do not want to be their slave. I hate being in this “program”. I would never have chosen it for myself or anyone I love. I know spy work is necessary, but I hate the idea of spies. I sure that want to belong to any of them or the programs they work through. But I have no say-so at all. At the very least they can get me out from under the management of those IdIoTTwins, who I hate. And I have already worked enough for 4 lifetimes. I am not going back into the work force. I’m not joining any groups. I am officially a recluse and I will not go back out there. Anytime I am in the public it is open season on me. I don’t care what their experts say, I will not go back to work. I’ll never try to go back to church. I will not join any groups. I can’t do anything. Everything I do the IdIoTTwins use to hurt me and others. I am not making myself available for another traumatizing nightmare from the cruel management of the IdIoTTwins.