I am reading this book, “Smeared” by HG Tudor. He’s a creepy guy. He keeps talking about “us” and “the Greater of our kind” and “the Lesser of our kind”. He has to be referring to devil worshippers. On a side note this is July 1. Did you know July 1 is a horrible satanic ritual day where all kinds of perversions and sacrificial murders happen. I have read several times what the day is called, but I can’t remember exactly. It’s something like Devil’s Revel, or something like that. Mainly for women to have sex with demons? Seriously? I bet the “demons” are just a bunch of perverted people. I am not saying there is no spiritual connections between us and the other side, but really? Doing drugs? Drunk? And now they even have these crowd control ways of manipulating emotions and all. I think a whole lot of flesh is happening and not so much spiritual power.
That sort of brings me back around to this smear campaign. This book is all about using the energy of another person. Well, what do they need energy for? For their spirits or their bodies? The body. The spirit is immortal and does not need energy from a fleshly person. The devil has fooled these people into thinking they are being spiritual, but they are beings made in the image of God. The devil just wants to destroy the image of God. And that includes these goofy people going around acting like they are something other than human. They are human and the devil is making fun of them because they are already made in the image of THE God.
But what I really wanted to talk about today is the part of the book about being “stigmatized”. This is done by the parent to the child. A sort of branding from birth. The person rarely realizes it even happened because it is just their normal reality for everyone to see them in this certain way in the family. The parent runs a smear campaign on their own child so people feel sorry for the parent because they have such struggles with this child. This is exactly what my mom has done with me. She has never shown the slightest interest in private of having a relationship with me. In fact she uses those times to provoke and torture me. Then she would smirk, like she was so clever picking on her own child.
For years as a child I thought I had to be adopted. I couldn’t imagine anyone torturing me like my mom did if the child was really their’s. Actually I couldn’t imagine treating any kid that way. And if I had been this horrible, stubborn, difficult kid she has maintained that I have been for my entire life, I would have really gone bad in high school, but I didn’t. She would talk about how other kids got in trouble when I was a teen. She would actually sound sort of whistful, like she wished she had a kid like that. Since I didn’t rebel she just branded me as weird. She spread rumors about me saying I was anti-social and possibly gay. The way she spread this stuff would be something like, “I’m worried about my daughter because….” and she made up stuff. I personally think she started the rumor in the family and behind the scenes people that my dad molested me, which he didn’t. She said I was “special” and “not quite right” although I was a very good student, bright, articulate, and participated in regular school and extracurricular activities. I have been in whatever program she and my dad put me in and she has used that to her utmost to stigmatize me.
I had always known she was crazy. Since I was 5 years old and she would go into screaming frenzy, like an insane person, I didn’t have the words, but I knew something was really wrong with her. Then I read a book about Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) and I had a lot of the symptoms. Then I read about MK Ultra which has satanic elements and I had even more symptoms of that. Now I am reading a book about a “narcissist” referring to himself as one of the Greater Ones and harvesting energy from people. What he is saying about a parent setting up a child to harvest energy off of “the audience” of the parent branding a child. But the audience believes the parent and things the child is messed up like the parent says.
I have nothing left for her to harvest. My cousins and family are frustrated with me, but I can’t deal with my mom. She can go into State care. She is not using the last of her days to suck my life energy. If she is one of these creepy “Greater Ones”, then I sure don’t want to be around her when she dies. They try to attach their spirits to people. I’m at the point that I don’t care if she gets buried in an unmarked State grave. I am not being fed on by her anymore.
I am living a very stressful life. I have PTSD and serious problems. But it’s like a cake walk compared to one hour with my mom. Not only is she cruel, she knows all the buttons to push. She knows things about me from infancy. Insider information. She knows more about me than I know about me in some ways. She has proven herself to not be trustworthy with my life. I am not giving her any more chances.
If the rest of the family get tired of her, then they should put her in the state care and walk away. She doesn’t care about any of them. Just like this guy in this book says, she is just using the forced astrangement from me to get sympathy from people and to steal their life energy from them.
I have NEVER seen her break character. Not for one second. Not one moment of tenderness and kindness. She always says she just turned me and my sister over to God and never looked back. Well, same to her. I turn her over to God and I am not looking back.