Before I start writing about the book I am reading, “Dangerous Personalities” by Joe Navarro, I want to write about a “coincidence” that happened to me today. According to the numbers on this blog, no one reads it. There were a few on the first few posts, but none after, so what does it matter what I write about? Just in case someone stumbles on this blog I want to have items out here that can help, comfort, encourage, inform, and entertain. I’m writing in conversational style. Nothing fancy.
On this blog I have talked about how community watches are no longer small groups of parents watching out for each others’ kids, but is fueled by money pouring in from Homeland Security, Department of Defense. It’s Mad Money. Just write up a neighbor as odd and needs to be survelled and these people are now getting enough money that they have new cars, go on fancy vacations, and buy bigger houses. They invade every part of a targets world. It’s like having someone reading over your shoulder all the time at best. At worst they are testing out new “no touch” “non-lethal” WEAPONS on their neighbors. There is no incentive to find the neighbor safe. As you may be able to imagine, with blood in the water so to speak the sharks are circling. The sharks are now involved in community watch and almost any civic organization imaginable because they are making Mad Money for doing it. Churches, school associations, Municipal government, civic business associations, private investigators, and much more.
Little towns here in Oklahoma are getting things like brand new football stadiums that are also FEMA rated shelters in case of emergency. That is good. But people making money by spying on neighborhoods and using inflated numbers to get more money is just wrong.
Ok, with that recap, this is what happened today. A guy came to my door and showed me his badge several times from the Municipality. Ok. Not a big deal. So he starts in about the safety of the neighborhood. I said it is safe. He said someone next to me had a break in. Well, I didn’t say anything, but that was bullshit. I’ve seen that old guy sitting out on his porch looking toward my house. He’s retired military or something like that. Probably RED like in the movie, Retired and Extremely Dangerous. But I went along with this guy to see what he was going to say next. He asked me if I thought neighborhood safety was important. What can you answer to a question like that? I don’t like being forced to say “yes”. It’s an old sales trick. After a person says “yes” it is easier to get them to say “yes” again. After he forced me to say “yes” he asked if he could put a community watch sign in my yard. I said, “Sure. You can put it there if you want to.” He looked shocked. I hate to say it, but the stupid “get them to say ‘yes’” thing sort of works on me. But I also know that they will just escalate, so I wanted to see where this was going.
He started talking to me about joining some watch group. I stopped him there and told him I wasn’t interested in joining any groups. He started acting confused, so I just said, “I think you are talking about spying on my neighbors and I am not into that.” Then he responded that he was not spying on anyone and showed me his ID badge again.
This time when he showed me the ID badge he showed a picture. The picture was like the most stereotypical picture you can imagine of a Middle Eastern Terrorist. I couldn’t tell if that was really the same guy or not. I shrugged, like that doesn’t tell me anything, but go on. He started saying that eventually I would get paid to have the sign in my yard and that he and his group would do the survellience of the neighborhood. I couldn’t tell if he was talking about being part of some security company. He showed me the ID AGAIN. Then he said I would need to fill out paperwork so I wouldn’t get charged for the sign being in my yard for now.
That’s where I stopped everything. I told him that I am not going to fill out any paperwork. I am not joining a group. I am not paying or being paid to have extra “protection” in my neighborhood. Can you imagine? It’s like thugs paying us money to let them roam around as privitized security gangs in our neighborhoods. I would feel safer without them in the neighborhood spying on everyone. Besides, all of this can be done remotely now. Cameras, drones, cell towers, fusion centers…I mean, really? Why do they need to be in the neighborhood survelling?
And he had used the word “protection” a bunch of times. I finally “joked” that he sounded like he was speaking for the mob.
I guess there is so much Mad Money that these people can throw some money into these impoverished communities and they make a real fortune off of these defense contracts, DOD type monies. That guy was a plant sent here by the pscycho twins. That creepy ID that guy kept flashing was the Mad Monk Rasputin type of look. That is exactly how Terry, one of these IdIoTTwins, loves to pretend he is like. He likes to pretend to be a fake Messiah and look like the pictures of Jesus with the beard and mustache and long hair. Also he likes to act like people will do anything for money. I guess if they had put that sign in my yard, then the IdIoTTwins would tell everyone I was taking money and part of their stupid program.
Ok. Who in their right mind would go to such lengths to freak me out and get me to say “yes” to something they already know I am saying “no” to? Well, the obvious answer is that no one IN THEIR RIGHT MINDS would do such a thing. These guys, Kerry and Terry, are dangerously crazy. If you run across some twins named Kerry and Terry just be careful. And that brings me to what I was going to write about today, “Dangerous Personalities”.
This book covers 4 dangerous personalities, narcissist, paranoid, unstable personality, and psychopaths. I did the checklists in the book and these twins came out high on the scale of all 4 types. That’s enough to be a cruel, and even lethal personality. If people like this join one or more others, like themselves they are in a category of legendary dangerous like the Old West outlaw gangs. These two and their bunch like to pretend they are outlaws, too, when they are cruel monsters. They have quit trying to be human and they feed on humans like monsters.
Also, like there needs to be more…but these types of personalities get worse over time. They are not interested in self-improvement. They already think they are gods. They are only interested in more, more, more. Whatever they want, they want more of it.
In the book the author makes the point that this is not a theoretical debate if you know people like this. “We don’t live in a laboratory where we can safely experiment, leisurely debate, or validate with absolute precision. We live in a world….where personal safety is an issue, time is of the essence, and our decisions need to be made quickly in the moment, based on what little information is available to us.”
”Even if a person scores low across the board, you’re still talking about someone who will aggravate, irritate, frustrate, frighten, or otherwise drain your cup – in short, a dangerous person you want to avoid if you value your psychological, mental, emotional , physical, or financial health.” This describes the whole group I am dealing with from Alaska in a nutshell.
I am at once saying that we don’t need to be watched by psychopaths and we need to keep our eye on them. I am not advocating for putting them under survellience from any of us. Someone high up will hopefully do that. But we need to be aware and keep basic safety foremost in our minds. It helps to think, “Is this safe or not?” As opposed to, “I shouldn’t have to deal with being treated like this.” Of course, that is true, but we need to protect ourselves and others as much as possible in our reactions to the constant harassment from these crazy people.
So to wrap it up, when you don’t have a checklist and time to decide if the people are dangerous or not, just ask yourself these 5 questions:
”Do they affect me emotionally in a negative way?
Do they do things that are illegal, erratic, unethical, or defy social norms?
Do they do things that are exploitative or manipulative?
Do they do things that are dangerous?
Do they do things impulsively with little control or with unwillingness to delay gratification?”
I know that the people I am thinking about would be a “yes” for every question. They are seriously dangerous, but they try to make it all look like a game. If anyone gets hurt, it is just an accident supposedly, but behind the scenes they are saying things like, “They deserved it”. They don’t feel bad about anything.
So…some every day things that can help keep you safe,
Gain knowledge. This book suggests, J. Reid Meloy’s Violence Risk and Threat Assessment, Stuart Yudofsky, MD Fatal Flaws, Samuel Yochelson and Santon E Samenow The Criminal Personality, Robert Hare Without Conscience, and Gaven de Becker The Gift of Fear. I personally have read The Gift of Fear and used it to survive in Alaska.
Don’t just look, but observe. Pay attention. Think of safety first. There are a lot of cliches, but bottom line is that unfortunately you have to be on your guard. Not paranoid, but you have to be your own personal body guard and get yourself out of anything that seems like it is leading you down a dangerous path, or is dangerous. Don’t worry about social conventions. I can garauntee you that they don’t care at all what the socially acceptable thing is. Just get away from them, even if you have to seem like you are being strange. In the end it’s your life, not anyone else’s.
Trust your feelings. How does this person make you feel? Sometimes these people can charm you or make you excited, but there’s something off. They are just too much. You can tell they are out of balance. They are always self-obsessed. Once again, be on guard. Be aware.
This is SO IMPORTANT: KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NICENESS AND GOODNESS! I cannot emphasize this enough, especially to women who are taught to “be nice”. You do not have to be polite and friendly to the point that you are not safe. And vice versa, just because someone is polite and friendly does not mean they are safe. Good deeds and goodness are very different. The ones harassing me have done some “nice” things to me, but at the same time they were hurting other people. I just would not go for that. They turned on me because I couldn’t be bought with niceness to me while they were mean to others. An example of this that everyone can recognize was the “in-crowd” in high school. They may be nice to each other, but were a horror to everyone else. I would never be part of that. If you pay attention though, you will see that they may do favors for one another, but there are strings attached. All their relationships are volatile and unstable. They hurt each other constantly, but an outsider might not be able to tell. So these are people to get away from. You can’t make friends with a predator.
Control space and distance. Once again – get away from them. “When it comes to dangerous personalities, permissiveness on your part is seen as either weakness or as a green light to continue doing more of the same.
Cut emotional strings. “If you are around a person who is pulling your emotional strings (or trying to), something’s wrong. Caring people don’t do that. Dangerous personalities are social puppeteers: They know what to say and do to tug at your emotions.” “When your emotions are being pulled, it means that someone is intentionally pulling those strings. This is manipulation.” “…set boundaries, and walk away from those who do not respect you by pulling your emotional strings.” Even if it is some weird salesman trying to force you to answer “yes”.
Know that time and location matter. Don’t go places at times when you will be completely vulnerable. Don’t be alone with these kinds of people. Don’t go where there will be big groups of them, like a party. Do not drink or do drugs with them. Be smart. Protect yourself.
Control time – Slow things down. I do this on the road. I leave crazy early to get where I am going and I drive the speed limit or under. Sometimes they have someone on my tail. Like this week they did that to me as I drove from one town to another. There was no one around on a 4 lane road and this guy in a truck was tailgating me. I slowed down and he got closer. So I put on my flashers, like I had car trouble and slowed down. Then other cars caught up to us. I pulled over on the side of the road and he sped by. I turned off the flashers, put on my signal and got back in traffic. Like I said, you don’t have to follow the social conventions. You don’t have to be tail gated. Also these impulsive, controlling personalities want to control the pace of everything. They want to rush you, then stall you. It’s like being a puppet being jerked around. The more you can control the pace of your life, the more you counter-control these harassers.
There’s much more in the book. I recommend it. I think it has a lot of famous examples like Hitler and Charles Manson that an average person may not feel they are dealing with. The book by Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear, does a better job of making the safety portion of the book more accessible for average people. But overall, this book had a lot of practical information to put into practice that should make people who read it safer and less subsceptible to dangerous personalities.
Thank you for your time and consideration.