Narcissist or Psychopath? Or Both!

I listened to a very good lecture by Dr. Horton today about how to spot a psychopath.  It is on her YouTube channel Stop 007 “Recognizing Psychopaths”.  I will embed it at the end of this entry.

I also found a very good article on Psychology Today’s site titled “Narcissist or Psychopath – How Can You Tell?”  December 28, 2017 by Joe Navarro.  The link is https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/spycatcher/201712/narcissist-or-psychopath-how-can-you-tell.  Did you notice in that link it has “spy catcher” in it?  I found that very interesting.  Maybe this is also how to spot a spy.  It seems they have certain deranged personalities that the spy agencies like to use more than others.  It’s much easier to use a sneaky spy with no conscience than anyone else, I’m sure.

Anyway, we normal-ish people are really up against it.  We have people attacking us from all sides.  Some think they are being patriots and we are monsters they have to protect society from.  Some think they are gods and can do with us what they like.  Some have money.  Some want to use us to make money.  It’s a double edged sword everywhere you look.

Lucky me, I have twin psychopaths and narcissists.  Even my double edged sword of danger is double edged.  One of them is more withdrawn and demented.  According to what I am learning, he is the primary psychopath.  He calls himself a god.  The other is more outgoing and cannot have his ego stroked enough.  He thinks the world revolves around him.  He is more narcissistic.  But like all good little criminally insane families with twins, they can easily become the other one, and they can combine to make a monster you could not imagine in your worst nightmare.

They are rich, too.  So they really are above our laws and societal rules.  I want to say that money doesn’t matter like ideals, but we all know money matters…A LOT!  People will do stuff for money they would never otherwise entertain the thought of.  The money factor is very persuasive and picks up momentum as the people getting paid start identifying with a group, like patriots, or criminals, or patrols, or….infinite possibilities, really.

I’m going to point out items from this article that are specific to what I have had to deal with in trying to survive the constant attacks of these IdIoTTwins and their family.

The article in Psychology Today starts with narcissists.  It says, “…their principal trait is of overvaluing themselves at the expense of devaluing other.”  “…in other words, they give themselves plenty of latitude while giving others little to none.  In their mind, they are always right, and the rules don’t really apply to them.  They are incapable of admitting mistakes and taking responsibility.  If things work, they believe it is thanks to them.  If things fail, it’s the fault of others.”

This has been consistently true in my cases.  I can tell they take credit for anything that works in my life, even though they are the ones actively sabotaging my life.  I guess that is the ruling classes’ ways of playing both sides in my own life.  And if I fail, including if I have medical problems, they act like it is something I did on purpose against them.  When I was passing out all the time, they had people standing over me screaming at me to get up.  At least now I am starting to understand the driving force behind this predictable, consistent insanity that comes at me from every corner.

“Most of all, narcissists cannot bring themselves to see anyone else as their equal.  So, they put down (co-workers, subordinates, family members), crush their aspirations, criticize, or treat them with indifference, disdain, or contempt.  If challenged, they will not react with anger, but with rage.  They are incapable of true empathy or understanding and in all ways, theysee themselves as perfect….”

”Here is a reminder of how narcissists view themselves.  These specifics may seem breathtaking in their arrogance and haughtiness – but then, those are the traits that define the narcissist:

  • I love myself and I know you do, too; in fact, everyone does – I can’t imagine anyone that doesn’t.
  • I have no need to apologize.  You, however, must understand, accept, and tolerate me no matter what I do or say.
  • I have few equals in this world, and so far, I have yet to meet one.  I am the best (manager, businessman, lover, student, etc….)
  • Most people don’t measure up.  Without me to lead, others would flounder.
  • I appreciate that there are rules and obligations, but those apply mostly to you because I don’t have the time or the inclination to abide by them.  Besides, rules are for the average person, and I am far above average.
  • I hope you appreciate all that I am and everything that I have achieved for you – because I am wonderful and faultless.
  • I do wish we could be equals, but we are not and never will be.  I will remind you with unapologetic frequency that I am the smartest person in the room and how well I did in school, business, as a parent, etc., and you must be grateful.
  • I may seem arrogant and haughty, and that’s OK with me – I just don’t want to be seen as being like you.
  • I expect you to be loyal to me at all times, no matter what I do; however don’t expect me to be loyal to you in any way.
  • I will criticize you and I expect you to accept it, but if you criticize me, especially in public, I will come at you with rage.  One more thing: I will NEVER forget or forgive, and I will pay you back one way or another – because I am a ‘wound collector’.
  • I expect you to be interested in what I have achieved and in what I have to say.  I, on the other hand am not at all interested in you or in what you have achieved, so don’t expect much curiosity or interest from me abut your life.  I just odn’t care.  (This one in particular is both of these twins.  They just want to talk on and on and on about themselves.  They don’t care about anyone else on the earth.  They are the only people on earth the way they act.  And I should be grateful to have  my whole life customed by the idiots signaling and talking about themselves non-stop every day of the year.  It’s ALL about each of them.)
  • I am not manipulative; I just like to have things done my way, no matter how much it inconveniences others or how it makes them feel.  I actually don’t care how others feel – feelings are for the weak.
  • I expect gratitude at all times, for even the smallest things I do.  As for you, I expect you to do as I command.  (This has been a huge problem in the marriage of me and JAMES, not the IdIoTTwins.  They want me to just go on and on about anything James does.  If he rinses a dish, then I should go on about it like he solved the world energy crisis.  On the other hand, I can work until I literally pass out and end up in the emergency room and he/they are mad at me.  They say stuff behind the scenes like I am a drama queen and just wants attention.  They say they go easy on me and I am just a whiner.  It’s a miracle James and I are still married.  I thought from the beginning that there was more than one “James” and I loved the one I married.  I thought the others were some kind of mental illness from his childhood not being exactly idyllic.  No.  It’s jackass rich kids in control of our marriage, who have had idyllic childhoods.  They are the mentally ill freaks plaguing our marriage!)
  • I only associate with the best people, and frankly, most of your friends don’t measure up.  (Or more specifically I don’t measure up.  They have signaled so much crap to me.  They turned downtown Anchorage basically into downtown New York City.  There are hardly any people, but they are all dressed in suits and designer clothes worth thousands of dollars and are completely impractical for life in Alaska.  They made suggestions for me to have my stomach stapled when I was twenty pounds overweight.  They constantly sent people to call me fat and to hint that I have small breasts.  They hinted they wanted me to have breast implants.  They hounded me about how I dressed and about minor imperfections in my body until I couldn’t remember what I should look like and would actually be in shock when I looked in the mirror.  Mostly through directed dreaming they spent every night trying to force me to have a different, fake self image of myself.  After seeing my sister not able to even walk anymore and having lost her hair, breast, etc to cancer, I continually told myself that if I lost my hair, breasts, ovaries, or anything from my body I was still a strong woman and beautiful.  They just kept beating me down with the exact same stuff.  It was maddening.  I went crazy for a while but I got better.  I was glad I kept fighting to have my own voice in my mouth.  I would say all of that out loud so I could hear it.  And then, they attacked me harder, but I wouldn’t let it go.  I’m very overweight now, but I consider that nothing compared to the fight I’ve been through and am still fighting.  That’s why we shouldn’t judge people superficially.  We don’t know what their stuggles have been.)
  • If you would just do what I say and obey, things would be better.  (They have specifically had my husband, bosses, parents, teachers, preachers say this to me almost word for word all through my life.)

“Talk to anyone who has been victimized by a narcissist.  It is a graduate-level lesson in humiliation and indifference.”  I would have a PHD in it if they awarded them.  My entire life…they whole thing…spent among these ego-maniacs.

“Psychopath by another name – Predator”

According to this contrubutor to Psychology Today he would rather use the term predator than psychopath.  He says that if the objective is to keep the public safe, then it is better to have a term that people can understand and put to use.

”Social predators live by taking advantage of others.  They come in all varieties, shapes, and forms, from every level of society.  Some live lawlessly on the streets, mugging people or worse.  Others have respectable jobs where they transact mayhem.  They see themselves as unrestrained by rules or laws.  Morals and ethics, to them, are mere words.  They have little or no regard for others and once more, they will take advantage of them finding exploitable weaknesses or the right opportunity.  No matter how safe you think you are, social predators will undermine and get around whatever safety mechanisms you have in place.  (Imagine them having unfettered access to everything about you for your entire life, then you have entered my world.)  They lack the ability to be introspective or to restrain themselves from doing harm to society and are quite content violating human rights.

”What predators have in common is a gross disregard for the sanctity of others.  For them, the most important priority isn’t living according to a higher social standard, but rather not getting caught.”  They are “impervious to decency.”  “Human lives are something to prey upon in their own chosen way, and they have absolutely no regrets about what they do.  They are evil, yes, but more specifically they are predators, and as such, they need a human to take advantage of.  Unctuous, beguiling, deceptive, mendacious, amoral, cold, degenerate, Machiavellian, malevolent, sleazy, uncaring, wicked, and unfeeling – that is who they are.  They differ from the narcissist in that taking advantage of others is their most prized objective in their life.”

“From talking to predators over a quarter of a  century, as I have, one learns a few things.  Here are some chilling eye-opening quotes from them as to how they feel about themselves, life, and their victims.  If you need a trigger warning, this is it – a medieval-sized trebuchet trigger warning.

”How the Predator Thinks

  • I could care less about human rights – what about my rights?  I have to take care of me first.
  • Laws and rules are meant to be broken – there is always a shortcut – there is always a way around the rules.
  • Most people are dupes – they should have seen it coming.  I can’t help it if they can’t defend themselves.
  • Women deserve to be treated the way they are – look how they dress and lead us on.  You dont think they don’t know what they are doing to us?
  • Cheating?  Everyone does it; everyone is out for themselves.  I am no more of a cheat than a bank.
  • So what if I lie, what’s the harm?  Everyone lies.  In any case, I needed to.
  • Laws and rules are meant to be broken – they are stupid rules, anyway.  The trick is to not get caught.
  • It’s not my concern if someone suffers – they shouldn’t have been there – it was their bad luck.  Accidents happen all the time, this was no different.
  • I don’t know why I did it.  I just felt like doing it.
  • I don’t feel emotions like everyone else.  I just don’t.  I don’t get it.  I feel the same every day.
  • Yeah, I have a long rap sheet.  I’ve been in and out of jail all my life – but that’s not who I am – the police are always picking on me.
  • She begged for her life but at that moment, it didn’t mean anything – I had control over her and it felt good.  (I used to beg God’s mercy in prayer, but realized they liked it.  They would always signal that they were gods and they didn’t believe in mercy.  It is chilling when you are surrounded with that all the time.)
  • She kept saying no, but I couldn’t stop.  I didn’t want to stop.
  • She kept arguing with me so I punched her, and that stopped her complaining.  What’s the big deal?  She asked for it.  She knew better to push me.  (I have been told many times in many situations that I knew better than to push the issue, person, point….whatever.  They acted like it was my fault all the targeting was happening to me.)
  • All investments are risky – in a way they, too, are to blame for being so greedy.  It’s their greed that made them invest with me.

“Take a deep breath.  Did you note how callous and indifferent these individuals are?  They truly have no conscience….”  “They do as they please and they rationalize everything they do.  In most cases they will not change and they don’t respond well to therapy.  They are out to get you or something you value or hold dear with as much concern as a snake has for a passing rodent.”

This article says that there are some ways to differentiate between the narcissist and predator.  The narcissist will want recognition and praise.  The predator wants something from you.  Narcissists tend want to do things in public.  The predator wants to get you alone.  Anyone wanting to isolate you should be a huge red warning flag to you.

”These individuals (predators) want to separate you from family and friends or isolate you out of public view.  In isolation, they can do their deeds.  They may seek to control your mind or emotions (as in a cult) or worse, they will want you in a place or situation where they can take control of your body.  Thus, they may corneryou between parked vans, or in a car….”  As targeted individuals we know they are literally trying to take over our bodies with remote control.  They are also cult-like in that they want to dictate what feelings and thoughts we have.

He goes on it say, “Alternatively, the conman/swindler May want you to invest your money with them without telling anyone; they restrain you from asking others for their opinions; they create existent circumstance where time is a factor or any other excuse to keep you from thinking about what you are doing or making a phone call.”

This is an excellent point! “By the way, there is nothing that says a person cannot be both a malignant narcissist and a social predator.”

He summarizes the article by saying, “I will caution you that at some point in your life you wil either associate with, work alongside, work for, or be governed by a narcissist or a social predator.  The quicker you identify these individuals for what they are as a result of their behavior, the greater your chances of avoiding being victimized.  Lastly, after talking to hundreds of victims over the years, it bears repeating here and that is, ‘You have no social obligation to be tormented or to be victimized – ever.’  Stay safe.”  He said exactly what I wanted to say.  Stay safe.

The contributor to Psychology Today, Joe Navarro, wrote a book on this topic called Dangerous Personalities.  I have not read it, but I plan to.  Just this article has a lot of relevant information for us Targeted INDIVIDUALS.  In the book he says he has listed over 200 different traits that differ between a narcissist and a psychopathic predator.

What got me looking into this today was Dr. Katherine Horton’s lecture on Recognizing Psychopaths on YouTube.  She is a very good teacher.  She even has interactive lessons built into the lecture.  I really enjoyed it and learned a lot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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