The Gruesome

My journey as a Targeted Individual and Gang Stalking has had many phases in my life.  The most powerful phase, though, that sent me searching for any information on the internet about stalking by organized groups started in 2006 when my sister died of cancer at the age of 36.  Where the normal human reaction to me losing my sister like that should have been an outpouring of kindness, I was met with carefully scripted “sympathy” that only made my suffering worse.  I was having trouble coping with her death because we had been incredibly close to one another and it was effecting everything in my life, including work.  Once again the weird cruel gang attitude battered me at every level of my job.  I was asked how they could help me and I said I needed some space and quiet to do my work.  They put me in my own office for 2 days and then made me work in the middle of the common area where everyone in the 5 story building  could walk by, have conversations, ask me endless pointless questions and do everything possible to drain me of my energy and make me even more weak.  I started realizing that the conversations they were having were scripted and were about supposed news events that had details that matched exactly the diseased state my poor sister’s body was in when she died.  People would smirk at me and nod as they talked.  It should seem like a smile and a friendly nod, but it was more like a gargoyle type smirk and the conversations were obviously scripted towards me.

There were several major problems with this scenario.  For one thing I was working and livening in Anchorage, Alaska.  My sister was still in our home state of Oklahoma when she died.  There was no way that these people should know any of the personal details of how she died.  (I later realized that my sister was also a targeted Individual and under survellience by this terror system, so the people behind the system basically watched her die that day.  They knew all the details to use to drive me insane.). I had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from watching her die.  She was afraid of doctors at the end and wouldn’t accept any medicine.  She died of cancer all through her body without any pain management.  It was brutal.  So I was having full blown flashbacks.  The conversations these people were having around me was triggering full blown PTSD episodes and I couldn’t do my job.  I couldn’t do anything.  I was like a zombie walking around when I could get up.  A lot of days I could not even get out of bed.

That went on for years.  They tortured me with my sister’s death for years.  It went from Workplace Bullying to Community Gang Stalking.  I would be standing in line at Wal-Mart and people would basically be talking about my sister’s death.  I really thought I had gone crazy.  I thought I was having some bizarre PTSD episodes where what I saw over and over again in the flashbacks I was now projecting somehow on the conversations of people around me.

After probably 6 years of this and escalating stalking it became ritualized like some old gangster movie…like a Mafia hit.  So I started looking up Mafia hits, Mafia targets, and things like that.  There were elements that were the same in the Gang Stalking, Workplace Bullying, and the Mafia targeting and hits.  The problem was that I was a nobody.  There was no money to gain from putting a “hit” on me.  Then the scripted conversations started being about the sport of killing another person.  They had a serial killer in Alaska at one time who would abduct girls and then set them free on the Knik River bed and then hunt them with a rifle.  People would be talking about that story all over the place and other things like that.  I thought maybe someone was hunting me for sport.  Unfortunately, I think that is the case for both me and my sister.  It wasn’t the Mafia, though.  It’s some rich sick people who get a thrill out of torture, murder, and terrorizing.

That still didn’t help me though.  I had to find some way to deal with this.  I was completely isolated except for my husband, but he was zoned out like a zombie.  I couldn’t communicate to him what all I was going through.  Looking back I know he was targeted too and was dealing with his own personalized terrors.

So, my goat in this blog site is to:

1) Document my story.  Give my personal witness.  An honest witness is worth more than gold.

2) Add my voice to the many voices who are crying out for justice and help in this system that is overwhelming us.

3) To provide some hope to people who are afraid, confused, and usually battling a lot of weird illnesses that make it hard for them to focus and compile information.

I titled this blog site, “The Gruesome and the Good” to set a pattern I plan to use.  I will write about the gruesome mess this targeting is and I will show some good help at the end of the blogs.

I am completely new to this so please be patient with me.


Website called Freedom for Targeted Individuals has a lot of good information.  Also you can share your information with the community.

Also the Ella F channel on YouTube has hours of interviews with Whistle Blowers and Targeted Individuals.  The lady’s name is Ella Free who does the interviews.  That is a good place to get information and help.  Ella is also part of the Freedom for Targeted Individuals group.

If you just accidentally found this site you are most likely a very GOOD person.  They seem to be targeting honest “whistle blower” types of people or people whose kindness and goodness is messing up their whole violent, angry world view.   You are part of what is good in the world.  I hope this site helps some people.  I hope it helps YOU!

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